Pieces of Me

I am there. I am here. I have been here for so long. I’m accessible. You can read me, see me, hear me, reach me whenever you want. It’s almost impossible for me to hide.

But you, you’re out there and I’ve got to do all the work. I have to dig, I have to search, and break my nails scratching. You think this is a fair relationship? It’s not. Pieces of me are scattered everywhere. I’m exposed.

It’s not fair to pretend like we’re on even ground. Friendships and relationships don’t get to just happen when it’s convenient for you, when you decide you need pieces of my soul.

So much of me over the years has wanted to lock it all up so you don’t get the advantage every time. So that I’m not so predictable and easy to read…so that you can’t use my weaknesses against me. It’s really not fair.

I feel like I’m the only one standing here naked and I don’t know why I just don't cover up and go back inside.

4 comments:

francois said...

Brilliant post, it really made me (L)aught (O)ut (L)oud at the end :D

I believe you're just in advance of your time princess Alachia.

May you be be our Kwisatz Haderach?
"The sleeper must awaken!"
Gods know you sleep so little.

More logically, I really think you're in advance for 2 reasons:
1) You *externalise* a lot (in the cloud, the meta or whatever we want to call it)
2) You *open* a lot of what you externalize

I became aware of (1) after hearing Michel Serres, a french phylosopher who is interested in the relations between humans and technology/sciences (he does some teaching in Stanford too). This was the conference in French:
http://interstices.info/jcms/c_15918/les-nouvelles-technologies-que-nous-apportent-elles

To summarize he thinks there's only one constant between us and technology since the birth of mankind: "externalization", and he gives lots of examples (the spoon is the externalization of the closed hand our ancestors used at the local pond to drink, our clothes are the externalization of our extra warming hair, etc). For him the next step is naturally the externalization of our "cognitive functions", meaning our memories and thinking/logic. For me it was Eureka, I understood at last why I felt the need to externalize my data, mails, pictures, bookmarks, ideas, code, etc (a good part closed).

I became aware of (2) while reading "Emergence, the connected lives of ants, brains, cities and software" from Steven Johnson. The book is a little long but I really like the example of the anthill which is very efficient and organized (nursery, landfill, etc) without any architect "dropping 20lbs of drawings". Surprisingly the anthill works because a) the ants externalize openly informations about their activities through pheromones (so another random ant crossing the trail can eventually react) and b) if the critical size is reached (roughly a thousand ants if i remember well). We certainly are not ants but Johnson believes we can extrapolate some principles to our more and more connected life.

From my point of view I see you as very advanced in (1) AND (2). I'm definitely (1) and I'm tented to experiment more with (2).

I sincerely hope beautiful things will *emerge* in the future from your (1)+(2).

In the meantime the good thing, for us out there, is that you're beautiful naked :)

/target Alachia
/kiss
^^

mama of 3 said...

i have no idea if you're post is related to something that happened or is in the process of happening, or if its just your thoughts.
But it sounds exactly like my life right now =(

Iceflow said...

/hug. Everybody needs one.

Phoenix1914 said...

I truly enjoy how you express yourself. I just started a blog here and I hope more of your followers will open themselves up to allow for a peek into their realities.

http://phoenix1914.blogspot.com/