Chapter 4: Morbid Curiosity

So recently I joined the fast paced bandwaggon of Facebook. However, I still refuse to use my real name or post my real picture out there. For me, lately, there is something fundamentally important about remaining purely meta.

As for those who know me on the RL level, I've noticed Facebook as something of an anonymous tool of judgement. And my friends say I am very cynical to think this way but seriously, when you're finally adding a "friend" on face book whom you haven't seen in 10 years or more...and not only that, but you were never really friends in the first place.. How can you tell me that they're not just using the networking tool as way to see "how you turned out"

Did you get fat? Are you successful? Who has the higher degree? Who has the better job? Who seems like they have it all. And even if you got past those usual judgments, then you're usually left with the "now what?" question.

After all, you're just seeing someone's surface persona. You're judging them by a line of statistics, questionares, and a few carefully chosen pics. You're getting to know them by what they want you to see. And then what do you do? Do you really have a real relationship with someone when all you do is make short quips on their "walls"?

I don't buy it but I also realize that my definition of relationships and friends have always been far more guarded and particular than most. I keep a close knit group. I don't care for a wide circle of acquaintances. I see no real value in them. However, I know a lot of people do. So I respect that.

My issues is mostly with my division between my meta self and my real self. They aren't the same anymore. Not at all. The people who knew me in high school wouldn't recognize the meta me. I only projected a personable mirror when I was in high school and most of college...and especially at work. The meta me, is the real me.

I don't like the idea of my old HS acquaintances discovering who I am now. The gap between understanding is too large to overcome. I know that sounds harsh and snobbish. But I am so far beyond surface relationships at this time in my life. I was burned by the notion of friendship a long time ago. People come, people go.

But somehow being meta seems more permanent, stationary, and real. Is that odd?
I suppose it is. So I guess the truth is, I don't want them to see the real me. If I use that logic. Hmmm. So it seems.

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Chapter 3: No Place Like Home

The new social mediums are a hoax it seems. Although we might feel like these tools are being developed to help enhance the communication of our meta selves, they're actually diluting our very essence.

Okay, that's a little melodramatic. But take for instance this new form of connectivity. Plurk. It's a bit like Twitter but even more degrading in terms of actual human communication. Seriously, facebook, myspace, friend book, twitter, whatever else is new out there. They've all filtered out any real human thought outside of "I had cheese for Breakfast" and "On the train to work" or "I LOVE tofuu in the rain"

Seriously? This is what we're down to in terms of communication via the meta? How are you seriously supposed to get to really KNOW anyone anymore.

I guess the thing is that the general population isn't into blogging. I understand not everyone has four to five paragraphs to spill out a day. And for them, twitter and plurk are perfect. But lately, it feels like everything is so vapid and separated.

There are just too many mediums to keep up with and we're all so segmented into those dozens of communities throwing out tid bits of our minds into a void...with no cohesion or real connection. And everyone just accepts it and moves onto to the next best networking site.

There's no real home for us who exist in the meta. What most of us do is just grab onto whatever portal they have out there and we latch on as best we can. But we all know that we're just renting space in the next temporary fad.

I just want to click my heels three times and spam/blog/twitter "there's no place like home"