Chapter 20: Replaceable

I'm a total fool
I lose again
all my fingers grip
around holding you in

And I thought we were friends
but I'm wrong again
I thought it was me
but it was something I had

you use me, you lose me
you pull me in two
betrayed and broken
I'm nothing to you

Got what you needed
glad I could give
you insult my worth
now just let me live

This past week I had a huge hit to my intellectual intelligence which I had to neatly hide away under my gripping smile. There is nothing worse than feeling like you're being manipulated by someone you consider a friend. This cut is the deepest.

I put my trust, my time and effort, and even more valuable my whole-hearted belief in someone. This week they completely slapped me in the face by making me feel completely replaceable. I was hurt and insulted. It started to make me wonder if I'm just an asset and not actually a friend.