Lover

I am a lover
I want to have
I want to give
I am a lover
I want to crawl behind those eyes
I want to claw beneath that skin

You fold your hands around my arms
You try to consume me whole
But I am already vapor in your lungs
I like to tease.
I like to play
I pretend to be mad so that you
Do not perceive my queerness

I am a mad lover then
But I am not mad with love
I simply want to dance naked
Before your eyes and make
Us shiver with fierce desire

I want to crave what I cannot have
I want to seek which is unseen
I want to have this all in you
What I am not allowed
I am a secret lover

I like to hide the trinkets of my affection
In little napkins under my ears
I use my finger and carve a sketch
And dab the napkin with our flesh

These are thoughts which betray my mind
These are wishes which remain unheard
For I am not a lover
But a dream which a lover did have

This I cry
I am a lover

3 comments:

Oppugno said...

wow....

I read this, and reread it again and again.

Really touching piece of writing, some parts are kind of confusing but I'm sure I'll come up with some sort of personal interpretation.

While I'm not sure what it all means, I'm pretty sure I must have missed something in lecture right now (currently in O Chem) because I have no idea how the professor managed to cleave that compound into two...

Thanks for the awesome post :)

said...

wow, indeed. I'm really glad that you can at least express this. It's hard to keep it bottled up, if it's something that really affects you. I made the mistake of letting an RL person know of my blog... and now the things I really want to say (which are along these lines) i have to hide - because he asked me to. It's a long and effed up story. But I loved your post.

Alachia said...

Poetry is often a necessary outlet for suppression and pain in your mind. It's one of the most freeing expressions because of the open-ended flexibility for interpretation so you can often be honest in your heart and still not give away the technicalities which might hold you down otherwise.

<3... you must create another blog...whenever one medium leads you to suppress a part of you, find another one.. eventually you'll feel comfortable enough to share that with a few others..and people you develop a comfort level will have better access to more of your layers. I know exactly how you feel though..already too many RL people know about this flipside blog and I find myself not able to post all the things I really want to say here.